victims of the 90’s
you never know when the desire to draw Luna Lovegood is gonna hit you… but it’s useless to fight it.
A Harry Potter AU where everything’s exactly the same, except the house elves look like Lord of the Rings elves and Dobby’s, like, played by Orlando Bloom. But they’re still not allowed to have clothes
orlando bloom hitting himself in the face with a lamp
twelve year old Daniel Radcliff shoving a nearly-naked Orlando Bloom into his closet
Who doesn’t love a look at the behind-the-scenes process of some of our favorite books? Here’s a look at a scrap of J. K. Rowling’s outline for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
what do you do at hogwarts if you start your period?
like do you go and see madam promfrey? or your head of year? because i’m just trying to imagine the slytherin girls going snape and asking for tampons
GREAT QUESTION ABOUT EAGLECREST, THE AMERICAN HOGWARTS. THANKS FOR ASKING! The house system at EAGLECREST differs slightly from that at European wizard schools: students are assigned to a House upon entry, but in acknowledgement of the complexity of human nature and the FREEDOM of AMERICA, each also chooses a Minor or Secondary House at which they spend at least one week per semester. The Houses are as follows.
- values: hilarity, sequins
- colors: i know i originally said Caribbean Blue and Tangerine but I think actually it’s Hot Pink + Atomic Tangerine
- house located in Thomas Jefferson’s “dreamy” left eye, equipped w/ craft supplies and a bar
- house ghost is Dorothy Parker
- Fun Fact: a bald eagle delivers house copies of Sassy, Vogue Wizard, and J-14 to Bluthyoncé every week. No one knows where the new issues of Sassy come from and no one asks questions.
- values: determination and fairness
- colors: Camo and Hemp
- house is located in Abraham Lincoln’s “problematic” jaw and has its own pirate radio station
- house ghost is Ida B. Wells. Justitopia at its best is the REAL SHIT.
- Fun Fact: Justitopia’s communal garden provides up to 45% of EAGLECREST’s vegetable supply. With the help of a simple avian translation spell, the many Rescue Chickens living in the Freedom Hutchery may also volunteer to donate their unfertilized eggs.
- values: affluence, ambition, broery
- colors: seersucker
- house is located in TEDDY BROSEVELT, right in the monocle. Has outdoor and indoor badminton courts.
- house ghost is Zack Morris.
- Fun Fact: a small door located behind Laxdisick’s F. Scott Fitzgerald Memorial Bathroom opens into the guest bedroom of some dude’s stepdad’s house on the Vineyard. It is always 1:30pm and partly sunny, and there is always an open sign-up spot for beer pong. Students who attempt to stay at the house for more than an hour, however, are struck with a gradually incapacitating lockjaw and eventually forced to leave.
- values: chill
- colors: Mood Ring
- house is located in George Washington’s nose because it’s closest to the main entrance. Every surface is guaranteed nappable. Best Wifi reception in all of EAGLECREST.
- House Ghost: Walt Whitman.
- Fun fact: the password to Shrugstagram House (“Uh what?”) has not been changed since 1973.
DUMBLEDORE WAS 115 WHEN HE DIED
WHAT IF HE MAKES A CAMEO APPERANCE IN THE MOVIE
HE WOULD BE 45
Oh, hey. Since J.K. Rowling is writing it and since this before Grindelwald’s fall, this would be the perfect chance for her to establish Dumbledore’s sexuality in canon as fact rather than subtext.
So, I have every confidence we won’t see him.
choluna doodles from yesterday ;;wheeZEajksdfjaksdDONT LOOK AT ME.
Hermione’s last minute study crunch before exams!
smoke break at hogwarts*
a poot because harry potter has re-entered my life. violently.
"In my headcanon Hogwarts is tolerant and accepting of all kinds of disabilities and makes tons of special allowances for everyone and isn’t at all the kind of place that lets teachers and ghosts and stairways emotionally and physically mutilate their students for funsies" more like did you actually read that shit
did you read the books like at all hogwarts was a galloping lethal crapfest staffed by abusive manchildren, charity cases, alcoholics, and oh yeah a dead guy, one of the teachers died and they never bothered to tell him he was dead so they didn’t have to pay him, how does that sound better than living in a universe where the government doesn’t sic ghastly soulsucking rapeghosts on a bunch of schoolchildren because it’s trying to cover its ass over the escape of a man convicted without trial
just oh my god i am so done with ‘what if the stairs magically agreed with your pronouns and the slytherins learn ASL to accomidate hard of hearing classmates and the house elves will make you vegan breakfasts’ fantasy posts i don’t know what fucking school everyone’s masturbating to but it isn’t fucking ‘remember how the headmaster hired a teacher who had the badguy sticking out the back of his head to see if some eleven year olds could kill him’ hogwarts
There’s literally nothing wrong with a bunch of kids for whom the HP series was a fundamental part of their growing up re-imagining it as a place that would be accepting and accommodating in ways that their real life and real world experiences haven’t been.
In fact, as far as I’m aware, the primary driving force behind all of those head-canons seems to have been sentiments along the lines of “Wow JKR really screwed the problematic pooch in ways most of us didn’t notice when we were younger but the HP world [and Hogwarts particularly] still holds an important place in our hearts so we’re going to take in a direction of what we wish it could have been or could be in the future”.
It’s the same sentiment of exquisite corpse/interactive media consumption that drives meta and fanworks in general, so I find it kind of strange that you dislike it so strongly, outside of the fact that it is deliberately and unabashedly positive and hopeful.
It’s like the other end of the spectrum from the super-gritty-childhood-stories-reimagined-as-tragic-or-horror meta fad. It doesn’t mean people are ignoring the source material. It’s just a different way of reacting to/coping with/recognizing problematic issues with something you love/grew up with.
Okay, in that context I can see where you’re coming from with it and now I kinda feel like a bitter territorial jackass. I don’t think I can really articulate why I dislike hogwarts hugbox posts so strongly. I guess I don’t see them as hopeful so much as revisionist, and revisionist in a way that for me chews off all the morbidly compelling edges of the thing that I grew up with trying to come to terms with, and this sweet fluffy escapist fantasy of the place takes away a lot of why I like, and like to dislike, the thing, and the lessons I learned from it. It feels like deciding Hogwarts is nice just betrays a hell of a lot of the point of the place and my own investment in the series.
I definitely get a lot out of holding these two schools of criticism in my head simultaneously, doublethink-style, just like when I’m reading the canon and I can take Harry’s quirky, hyperbolically bad childhood in the spirit it was probably intended, while also doing a literal, grim as hell reading of, say, Dumbledore’s extreme horrifying negiligence and manipulation, use of brainwashing and child soldiers, etc. I feel like both were to some degree present and intentional throughout, to get that “quaint and delightful but also extremely unnerving” vibe.
Also, in the interest of combining those two readings smoothly, I like the idea of post-war Hogwarts really cleaning up its act due to the kids looking back on the HP era and deciding WOW YUP, TIME FOR SOME STUDENT BODY ACTIVISM
WE DEMAND FEWER OF US GET MURDERED
I think the fact that within Hogwarts there’s a lot of distaste for Slytherin and Hufflepuff shows some interesting insight into the wizarding community. Like, Hufflepuff represents hard work and fairness, right? But there’s the idea that Hufflepuffs are losers, sort of the proverbial nice guys who finish last. On the other hand, Slytherins, who represent cunning and ambition and personal drive, are seen as cutthroat and generally nasty and mean.
Ultimately, Hufflepuff and Slytherin are both rooted in philosophies on self betterment and achieving success in life, both in terms of being a better person and being a more powerful/wealthy person. The obvious question raised by Hogwarts student’s disapproval of both Slytherin and Hufflepuff is this: if it makes you a loser to succeed through hard work and fairness, but a cheat to succeed through cleverness and an attitude of doing whatever it takes to achieve your goals, how is someone in the wizarding world expected to gain power/wealth/status if they aren’t already born with it?
It’s also worth noting that in a world where magic can do your work for you, Hufflepuffs are scoffed at for being willing to work at all, and Slytherins are shunned for taking advantage of magic to it’s fullest.