i wish more harry potter fic would focus on the fact the trio were teenagers in the 90’s think of what we could have
- the muggleborn students bringing lisa frank notebooks to school to the bemusement of the other students only to start a sparkle rainbow unicorn phase
- kids charming pokemon cards with the same magic used to make their photos move dont pretend you wouldnt want that
- a desperate attempt from the teachers to put a stop to the pokemon card game (if one more duel breaks out over that goddamn shining charizard card) which fails because the students just end up charming them to keep the cards hidden
- magical wizards taking advantage of the beanie baby craze and creating toys infused with magical properties - hippogriffs and doxy’s and a whole range of mini dragons that can breathe realistic fire. arthur weasley had to work three weeks straight to calm down the mess that started when muggle collectors somehow got hold of them
- hermione bringing her portable cd player (and large bag of cds) to the burrow one evening to listen to some music while she does her work and having to explain to mr weasley it’s exact properties and function
- harry finding an old tamagotchi in dudley’s old room and givng it to ron for a laugh. ron manages to kill it in five minutes
- skip it vs quidditch arguments in the common rooms (what do you mean you just jump over it wheres the skill in that)
- everyone knows the fresh prince of bel air theme tune, pureblood or not you know it
- magically enchanted pogs (remember herpo the foul? he’s back, in pog form!)
- denim on denim robes
When I used to think about Voldemort’s horcruxes I imagined a soul divided in equal portions residing in the different horcruxes and Voldemort himself. I realised that this can’t be true in The Half-Blood Prince Slughorn describes making a horcrux as splitting ones soul in two. This means that when Riddle made his Diary into a horcrux he split his soul in half and physically removed one half from his body and placed it in the diary. This means that he only had half of his soul left when he made his next horcrux, Marvolo’s ring. This half would have been split in half leaving only a quarter in Voldemort’s body. This goes on and on the amount of soul remaining in Voldemort halving each time he makes a horcrux until he had only 1/128 or 0.78125% left in his body. As shown in the graph above. So next time you wonder why Voldemort could have done some of things he did, remember how little human he had left in him. I don’t know about you but I think that this is crazy.
Come on guys, I didn’t do maths for 14 notes
#OKAY BUT CAN WE PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE#THE OTHER THING THIS GRAPH THROWS INTO SHARP RELIEF:#THE FACT THAT FUCKING GINNY#HAD *HALF OF VOLDEMORT’S SOUL*#WHISPERING IN HER EAR AND CRAWLING INSIDE OF HER AND TRYING TO CONSUME HER FROM THE INSIDE OUT#YEAH#LIKE COOL HARRY HAS A SCAR AND CAN TALK TO SNAKES AND SOMETIMES GETS HEADACHES#POOR BABY#MEANWHILE GINNY ‘DERIDED BY FANDOM’ WEASLEY#TAKES IN HALF OF THAT FUCKER’S SOUL#AND STILL CAME OUT ON TOP#who’s your hero now harry potter fandom#yeah that’s what i thought (via riversonglife)
It’s also slightly worrying that Harry has more of Voldemort’s soul inside of him than Voldemort himself has.
"The young witches and wizards of our generation have lost all sense of themselves. I’ve heard tell that some of them are even — in clear breach of the International Statute of Secrecy — using concealment charms to help Muggle bootlegger allies. But the real travesty is sartorial in nature, as our children abandon the traditional robes and vestments that have served wizardkind so well for centuries in favor of modern fripperies. How is a witch to perform great magic with her knees exposed to public view? To say nothing of the rampant bifurcation of our young wizards…”
—from an op-ed to the Sorcery Standard, penned by Mrs Lavinia Turret, 1924
(X - French postcard, 1920s, because typewriter erotica was once a thing)
"Hufflepuffs are known to have good friends in Slytherin. Hufflepuffs are some of the few who won’t judge based on negative rumours. This means they’re the most likely to approach Slytherins and help them when in need. This makes amazingly loyal friends between the houses. Mess with a Hufflepuff, and you’ll likely find a Slytherin getting revenge for the more forgiving house."
HELL YEAH FUCKING RIGHT
it’s true doe
After years of silence, JK Rowling finally speaks the truth about Ronbledore.
“I have said this before and I will say it again: I will never be intimidated into silence about Ronbledore. Wake up, sheeple. The evidence is already all there in the books. Did Cedric Diggory know too much about Ronbledore? Why is “Cho Chang” an anagram for “Weasley Time Prison”? Why does Parvati Patil keep referring to Ron as “Headmaster Time-Child” during the Yule Ball before she dissolves into a disembodied ball of gas? We’re through the looking glass, here.”
i am tired of queer headcanons.
and maybe it’s because i’m self-hating or an assimilationist or i don’t understand the true queer struggle, but i am tired of queer headcanons.
"amab transfeminine asexual neville falls in love with bisexual polyamorous agender luna" and want to scream. because i…
"tell me about trans man remus who names himself remus lupin. remus lupin. because fuck you i’m trans and fuck you i’m a werewolf and fuck you. FUCK. YOU."
This explains everything though.
Lupin finding the kids with depression and teaching them Patronuses so the dementors don’t affect them as much
McGonagall keeping a stash of chocolate all of Harry’s third year because she knows which kids will be most affected by the Dementors and also which kids she can bring into her office with that excuse because they’re having a breakdown
Hogwarts teachers desperately trying to make sure all their students with depression avoid the Dementors
Alternately, the kids with depression being the first to face off against a Dementor because they know all the tricks.
The kids with depression defending the other kids when one passes by because they know how to function in the grey.
The kids with depression having the biggest, gaudiest patronuses because they have power.
They’ve already learned how to survive a Dementor long before they had magic.
For all of the Canon Harry Potter’s failings, Harry Potter headcanons literally make the world a better place.
Omg, I want a love story in which my best friend calls me a racial slur and then proceeds to join a terrorist group based on killing people of my heritage and then accidentally endangers me and tries to bargain the lives of my child and the man I love away in exchange for me like some creepy bartering system and in causing my death decides to protect my son out of guilt but really spends his entire childhood being an asshole to him - OH WAIT, NO I DON’T.
Next Gen Ravenclaws who question everything, who examine - and sometimes even poke - raw nerves in their quest to understand the past and present student body; they smash comfortable narratives without any tact in the name of truth (“Severus Snape was not a romantic figure. In fact, he exhibited a lot of abusive and obsessive traits towards Lily Potter. I can point you towards some literature…”). They learn from collecting personal accounts of the Second Wizarding War that History is not just a list of random facts you memorize, and insist Professor Binns present sources other than those written by (mostly pureblood) Wizards. They recognize Riddle as a symptom of an untreated disease, and decide to combat this disease with knowledge. They give out pamphlets that explain, as concisely as possible, how the genetic marker for magic is actually passed down and factors that play into magical potential (spoiler alert: Muggleborns can’t “steal magic.”) They put up posters listing facts about lycanthropy from medical texts, not fairy tales. They pass out small local papers as alternatives to the Daily Prophet.
They help reinvent the Muggle Studies department by hosting Movie Nights for everyone - because refusing to enjoy a beautifully animated film does not somehow make you magically superior, it just makes you (in the words of Mr. Potato Head) “an uncultured swine.” This proves more effective at normalizing Muggle culture than throwing around the phrase “Muggles are just like us!” They organize field trips to muggle libraries, theaters, and even schools. One of these field trips inspired Seventh Years (led by a shy Ravenclaw no one had noticed before and a Slytherin Head Girl) to create a “Key Word Box” that lists off source material in the library based on the words you whisper into it. Jane Austen becomes all the rage among Sixth year girls.
The basic plot, which cannot be ignored even in the films, is that Harry, Hermione and Ron give up everything for their political struggle. They drop out of high school, they go illegal, defy the government, belong to an underground organization [The Order of the Phoenix], operate out of safe houses and forests and even raid offices of the government and banking offices. This is all done in principled opposition to the Dark Wizard Voldemort and a corrupt bureaucratized government that has been heavily infiltrated with his evil minions. This is revolutionary activity. But the movie version does not present it as such or emphasize these radical aspects of the plot, thereby entirely missing the dramatic sweep and action present in the first half of the last novel.
The novels recognize the importance of alternative media for political struggle. The mainstream press [The Daily Prophet] is shown as unreliable and unprincipled, eventually deteriorating into a fear-mongering propaganda machine for the Voldemort-controlled bureaucracy. For a while the alternative but above ground media [The Quibbler] publishes the real news, but it ceases to print after the daughter of the publisher is kidnapped. In the book, friends of Harry [Lee Jordan, with Fred and George Weasley as frequent guests] start broadcasting the real news from an underground radio station, encrypted with a password. This radio station becomes a critical link for the resistance, which is scattered and weak. Although we are treated to some radio broadcast updates in the movie, they are delivered by a disembodied and professional sounding voice, not our friends the Weasleys. This undermines the important message - a guiding principle behind the media coop - that in a serious situation it becomes necessary to produce your own media and not to rely on ‘professionals’.
The novel makes it clear that in this phase of the struggle the characters romantic lives take a backseat to their political activity, as Harry breaks up with the love of his life [Ginny Weasley] so as to avoid making her a target for Voldemort’s forces, who are known to use torture and kidnapping as tactics. The ‘love triangle’ that becomes the focus of the movie isn’t even really present in the books. In the books, the relationship between Harry and Hermione is totally platonic - Ron is shown as jealous, but the feeling is entirely without foundation. In the book Harry says to Ron: “I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It’s always been like that. I thought you knew” (pg 378, DH US Hardback). This conveys that men and women can be close comrades and friends without being involved romantically. But in the film, Harry and Hermione are shown dancing romantically, and Harry’s line to Ron about his brotherly feeling towards Hermione does not even make it into the film. This completely undermines the important message that jealousy is counter-productive and has toxic effects, which is an important feminist message for young people.
"YOu’RE OUT OF THE GROUP LUPIN. RETURN YOUR ‘MARAUDERS 4 LYF’ JEAN JACKET IMMEDIATELY"
I just really need Remus and Lily to have been good friends ok
(i was going to colour this but then i was like no i’m really lazy)
Harry and Hermione made their way to the back of the room, where there was a small, vacant table between the window and a handsome Christmas tree, which stood next to the fireplace. Ron came back five minutes later, carrying three foaming tankards of hot butterbeer.
"Merry Christmas!" he said happily, raising his tankard.
Harry drank deeply. It was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted and seemed to heat every bit of him from the inside.
—Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 10
The Marauders, the morning after a full moon.
i am freaking out about wizard history and ~magical beings~ pay me no mind
DO YOU GUYS REALIZE HOW COMPLICATED THIS IS
-LYALL LUPIN WAS. FUCKING. IN THE DEPARTMENT FOR REGULATION AND CONTROL OF MAGICAL CREATURES AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND HE AND REMUS ARE ON GOOD TERMS nope nuh-uh nope also the story behind lyall’s marrying hope is shady as fuck (he saved her from a boggart that wasn’t actually dangerous and she felt so grateful to him for saving her life that she went out with him)
-”Initially, Lyall was able to keep Remus under control during the full moon by placing him in a locked room and casting several Silencing Charms, but as the child grew, he became more difficult to contain”
-NOPE NO HOLY SHIT
-LYALL FUCKING LUPIN IS A SHIT DAD
-goblins attempted to organize mass resistance to the hierarchical racist classification system wizards tried to implement (in the 1300s, meaning that wizard racism is rooted in a period before colonization efforts etc)
-There is in fact a division of the ministry to deal with ghosts and, presumably, their employment, which i have had so many questions about and still do ever since Binns first appeared
-fucking FLITWICK IS DESCENDED FROM GOBLINS DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS it means he’s probably experienced a lot of shit ok flitwick is bad ass
-bad ass flitwick
-also the fact there are goblin/human and giant/human and veela/human people walking around who are able in turn to have kids (i mean, I assume, as Flitwick is less than half goblin and let’s not forget Fleur) means that, in very simple terms, none of these are separate species at all
-MEANING that everyone is wizards and also by extension human, including elves probably, and that there is just an astounding amount of magic-induced genetic variation that probably adapted as the result of widely diverse environs
-MEANING that the Ministry is the Worst Thing EVer no questions ew holy shit wizards (at least the british ones) are the worst???
-also that all these kinds of people come from a gene pool long predating modern humans in this…fantasy universe (look ok i know i am overthinking it)
- wow we learned a lot today thanks harry potter wiki